Being the first there, we had a choice where to set-up, but we chose a small corner as to let the more imposing bands have their run of most of the space. I can't remember too many details, it was mostly a blur. Two, three hours went by in a blink of an eye. I just remember greeting the other bands as they arrived in a murmur of "ohayou gozaimasu...yoroshiku...." Some stared blankly, others ignored us completely, and some were a little more friendly and inviting. I hardly uttered a word to anyone, mostly out of intimidation and not really knowing what to say. Each group (all seven of us!) mostly kept to themselves. It was truly something different than what I've ever experienced before. The third floor was entirely composed to serve the purpose half as a bar, the other half as the "back-stage/dressing area." The main problem that arose was...well, there were mostly men, but also women...so I had to occupy the bathroom for long periods of time in order to change (which at one point, the vocalist for Calmando Qual was highly inconvenienced in his mission to take a leak) >_<;
Other than that, though...most everything was accommodating. From the third floor, there was a narrow hallway with stairs winding up to another small backstage area where everyone in que stored instruments and materials for their performance. I found that hallway to be vital for my warm-up before the show. While the other bands did sound-checks and brief rehearsals, I did scales and sirens in a corner away from everyone else( and in strong belief nobody could hear...^.^;)
For the most part, I was generally ignored until it was time for make-up and hair. Members from other bands quietly acknowledged my presence and exchanged "otsukare"s, but some members seemed genuinely shocked I was there....specifically, the drummer from the other band which had a female vocal. (I'm really not sure if he was just curious or surprised or in shock to see me there, but I definitely got alot of stares from him...at first sight of me, he actually tripped over a plank holding the divide screen ^^;; )
I was mostly in a daze, though...my mind hazy, trying to focus on lyrics and keeping my voice warm for performance..drifting in and out of nap-mode. The make-up artist was truly wonderful again. I wish I could have understood more, but she kept our conversation mostly to simple directions. I think we were at least amusing to her, though...I took pictures of our sleeping guitarist, I made the bassist hold her onigiri while getting her make-up done, I teased the drummer, tripped over things constantly...asked strange questions, and so on.
When it got down to a 15-minute countdown to our show, I felt my heart beat a little harder and my breath shallow just a bit. Another blink of the eye and we were opening the door to the stage, entering into darkness, listening to the buzz of the crowd, positioning, readying....
Honestly, though...I can't remember much of what happened. It all happened so fast. It started with the opening MC. The guitarist warmed up the crowd, and the bassist and keyboardist shouted in sequence with me. It was supposed to be a 4-count, but...well, I'm glad the guitarist had his eyes on me. He saw I was lost and couldn't hear the intro. He saw I couldn't find where to sing. He tried again to cover it up, which I'm thankful for. I missed the first few lines in the first verse, but quickly jumped in where I could. I could feel everyone (in the band) staring at me...>_<; But it wasn't out of anger, it was mostly concern. As I picked up the pace and energy, the worry diminished. I was aware of the mistakes I was making...I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear anything except the drums and the faint riffs of the guitar. I couldn't keep the notes as well as I wanted, but I kept going...little did I know, the PA system was crap and most of my singing was unheard (except the parts I really belted ^0^ ).
The first song ended and I jumped on my MC. I could barely see through my hair and the glaring lights, but I saw the faces of many familiar souls in the crowd smiling back at me. My eyes scanned over the audience...at least 60 people were there staring back at me. It felt so great to be standing on the edge of the stage and yelling back and forth to the audience. "If I can get them to have fun...if I can get them to enjoy this, I'll have no regrets." My surprise bunny "decapitation" worked like a charm for the whole "interesting" factor. (yes, I ripped the head off of an innocent-looking bunny stuffed animal 9_9 ) The drummer started into the next song...it was so fast...too fast...I couldn't breathe...It all went by so fast. As it came to an end, I wondered if the lyrics were even intelligible ^0^ I felt like it had sped by in a matter of two minutes rather than four. I proceeded to throw the rabbit's body at him and exclaim that he was too fast (not really remembering the audience had no idea) The keyboardist then had his MC with the crowd, introducing the members to the audience and announcing our debut and demo. His voice was so gentle compared to what I decided to use. Our fourth song started off fine, but I knew I was in trouble when I couldn't hear the keyboard. I tried switching spots with the guitarist to use his monitor, but to no avail. There was nothing I could really do but push through it. I tried to make the octave jump in the chorus as painless as possible for the audience, but I know I was sharpt and flat and all over the place (it happens when you can't hear >_<) At this point, I was determined to rouse the crowd. If I couldn't sing up to my full potential, then I was going to have to up the enthusiasm on stage. I really started to see that performance made up about 40-50% of how the audience saw or felt about us. The "towel" interaction was fun. I used the bunny's head at one point as my "towel" to spin over my head in an interaction with the audience, but I just deemed it better to thrust my fist into the air.
What made me really happy, other than the crowd's energy and interaction, was that the guitarist genuinely smiled at me a few times. I really do hope he was pleased. His opinion is so important for me and deciding what I do...his opinion drove me to go crazy just a bit on stage ^.^
The last song was ever-changing in pace and tempo, but I felt like I could keep up. It was another blur of light and smiling/yelling faces. I made a point of making eye contact with the audience. I really didn't feel anything but great at this point. I was engulfed in the moment, and for that moment, I felt we were really connected with the audience. My eyes floated from familiar to unfamiliar faces. I could guess who were comrades and who had come for other bands. What made me so very happy was that with the last song, we had EVERYONE moving! Even the people who probably showed up for other bands seemed to be having fun in that moment. Even those people smiled and yelled back. That's why we were there. There is no way that we could have done a perfect job, but in the circumstance we were in (not able to hear, tripping on chords, me almost falling off stage because the monitor I decided to prop myself on was unsecured...^0^ ), I don't think we could have done better. I feel like it went so much better than anticipated... Yes, we messed up a ton. Instrumentals and vocals were equally slipping up, but we made a connection. The audience had fun....all of our demo cds....ALL of our demo cds were taken. We topped the ticket sales ( I mean to say, we had a crowd of 58, while the other bands had...9,7...etc.) <-----this information was accidentally given to the leader because a staff member passed her the wrong sheet of paper at the end of the night =^0^=. I think it's not just the people who meant alot to me showing up that made our debut so wonderful. I think the fact that we all knew our mistakes but still carried on and we were still able to make it fun for everyone, I think that's what makes this experience so invaluable to me. I know I have such a long, long way to go, but this threshhold has been paved in diamonds for me. I know we're going to hit tough times, but if we can have more memories like this, I can be ready. It really was like a dream. It really is the reason I'm here, doing what I do. No regrets.
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